Monday, February 4, 2013

Now That It's Over: I Have Questions About The Superbowl:

So, football and I have never been on good terms. I think it has to do with a Sunday way back in January of 1986 when itty-bitty newborn me was to get baptized and celebrated for all my cuteness (and, I guess, new Catholic-ness. But that's another story...) and it happened to be on the same day as one of the play-off games that the Bears were playing. Legend has it that my baptism ceremony was the shortest ever in that church, as even the priest didn't want to miss kick-off.

I have a feeling that itty-bitty newborn me felt a little ripped off- I got forced into an itchy doily of a christening gown, taken out into the frigid Chicago winter, had an old dude pour water on my head...and all anyone really cared about was watching a dumb football game?! Lame.

At least, that's what I assume is the reason why my eyes glaze over when it comes to football. But, anyway, here are some questions I have in response to whatever went on this weekend:

10. Beyonce. I didn't know she was performing at half-time until yesterday. I can name maybe three songs she has sung (alone or in a group) in the past 15 years. The last video I watched that heavily featured her was for "Independent Woman (Part One)" and that was because MTV did a Making of the Video episode of it. They had to re-draw everyone's butts in post, I remember that. Was there ever a Part Two to that song/video? Or is this a History of the World Part I situation?

9. Who played? I have no idea who played in the Superbowl other than I'm pretty sure it wasn't the Bears.

8. From Facebook, I learned last night that the game was being played in New Orleans and that there was an electricity issue. I don't know why it was played in New Orleans nor do I know why there was an electrical issue (but everyone I know with strong political and/or racial opinions certainly seemed to know what was going on). Did the game have to stop? Was it the whole stadium?

7. When did the game start? Yesterday, I was trying to figure out when would be the best time to go have a Last Woman On Earth moment while everyone else was watching the game. I thought it might be 3-ish, but I think that might've been for the West Coast because my neighbors hadn't left yet. I ended up staying in anyway and watched three episodes of Bomb Girls. It's a Canadian period drama about women working in WWII bomb factories. Meg Tilly is amazing in it. She's like the Canadian Jessica Lange.

6. I don't understand the "I only watch for the commercials" thing. If you're only watching for the commercials, why not just watch something good and then go back and watch all the commercials on YouTube? They're there almost seconds after airing. I feel like saying "I only watch for the commercials" is 1) like saying that you only read Playboy for the articles and 2) something that TV executives have sort of brainwashed people into thinking is a thing just because they make "Best Superbowl Commericals of All Time" specials to fill dead air time.

5. Are footballs still made out of pigskin? Where they ever? Do they ever play with footballs that aren't brown? Wouldn't it make sense to have a brighter color? Or a ball that created a pretty kaleidoscope effect when thrown?

4. Is American football an Olympic sport? (sidenote: I also don't find the Olympics interesting except for certain figure skating events)

3. Is Rudy considered the one good football movie? Out of the... five football movies I can think of? (Not including the Tony Danza garbage man movie because that was a TV movie but definitely including Little Giants)

2. I'm still a little puzzled by the presence of football in The Dark Knight Rises. And the physics of what happened there. Could that really happen?

1. The big one. I have to admit it though: I find the Puppy Bowl just as stupid and boring. Will I be killed in my sleep for saying that?

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