Thursday, May 9, 2013

So, What Exactly Does "Amazonian Clay" Mean?

In the midst of rubbing in a sample's worth of an Amazonian Clay detox mask onto my face, I paused as I put a little bit more on my nose and realized...

... this face mask smells like pee. I don't think that was the intention.

Amazons are some rugged broads, putting pee-scented clay on their faces. Oh, you mean it's from that other Amazon? The one in South America? Huh. Why do we have mythological Amazons and then the Amazon River/Rain Forest in a completely different location from where the Amazons were supposed to be? Is this a West Indies/East Indies type of thing?

Anyway: Apparently this is beauty week for this blog? Okay, then: face masks. I like doing them, especially when I feel like I've gotten behind on my skin regime and need a crash-course for my skin. Especially when they're free samples from Sephora. I don't think I'd ever feel okay paying $38 for five applications of a face mask (seriously, talk about a price that's mostly for the packaging!). I probably wouldn't feel okay even stretching it to ten applications. The stuff was good, but not miracle-level good. Right now I'm on a Murad kick with their 30 Day System and it comes with an awesomely sized sulfur mask that is gentle enough to put on, let dry, and then just sleep in it without getting super-irritated skin. And it's just as effective as the one ProActiv makes, if not more so.

But back to the Tarte Amazonian Clay mask. The nice thing about it is that it has the jojoba beads, so you are reminded to really try to rub the mask in rather than just painting it on. I never feel like jojoba beads actually do any exfoliating (I can already hear my AVEDA Institute graduate friend grumbling about me just saying that.) but having them there does give an impression of exfoliation happening.

However, the best part was that I applied the mask while sitting on my bed watching Mad Men and right after plucking my eyebrows (sidenote: what's with the fashion world suddenly embracing brushy eyebrows right as I finally figure out how to shape and fill-in mine? Argh). To pluck my eyebrows, I use a little lamp that uses a 15 watt bulb so that I can get bright light right where I need it, and usually turn off all other lights.

So, the sun was setting, my room was getting darker, and I just had this little un-shaded 15 watt light casting shadows while I covered my face in a face mask.

Then, I heard the front door unlock. You know where this is going, right?

The roommate walks down the hall, visibly flinches when she sees me with the mask on and weird "I'm telling a ghost story" shadows happening, and just sighs and goes, "Did you do that just to freak me out?"

"Yes," I answered, "I did it just for you."

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