Manic Whimsy Dream Boy of Doom

So... I'm not the type to have crushes. I don't fall in love and I don't even prioritize romantic love. I'm not the type to have my favorite thing about a story be the romance. In fact, often it is my least favorite thing about most stories.

Sometimes I like love stories. Just not super often. But when I do, it's often when I'm feeling my moodiest.

At some point in my teens, I had a few certainties that just appeared in my mind. Be they weird mis-fires or what, they happened. They weren't all correct- I was certain I would die before my nineteenth birthday, for one, and that's clearly not what happened. I was certain I would eventually run away, which I did... before running back for two years.

I was also certain that when I did finally find the love of my life, it would be with someone that was bipolar with severe mania.

It's quite specific, I know. And I've managed to yet to actually achieve that. I have never fallen in love and I've yet to have a romantic relationship with someone that is bipolar with manic episodes.

I have, however, had some amazing friendships with more than one person with tragic mental illnesses that have made our friendships all the stronger. I gravitate towards people with intense emotions and I have been that way my whole life. I don't know if I quite realized that during my teens yet, though.

But, I will say, that a couple years after that certainty planted itself in my mind... season four of Ally McBeal happened.

I probably need to explain that further, don't I?

My father watched Ally McBeal regularly as did a great amount of people in the late 90s. My father watched it mostly for the musical element of the show but the show did seem mildly amusing in the 90s. I would watch with him, rolling my eyes at Ally's man-hungry ways and not understanding her motives at all. But I found it amusing for the most part, not realizing how disgusting most of the characters were in a human rights point of view about quite a few "funny" topics (like any time a LBGTQ character appeared or any character with a diagnosed serious disorder).

But then came the fourth season. And Robert Downey Jr came with it. For those of you that don't remember this time in history, Downey had just spent about a year in prison after being in a Lohan-esque spiral of missing a few court-ordered drug tests that were part of his parole agreement. The lawyers that got O.J. off could not save him from a year in prison, that's how damning the situation was.

And, a week after he was released from that long stay, he was hired to be a new cast member on the fourth season of Ally McBeal as Ally's new love interest. Because that was David E. Kelly's hiring style.

And he was... amazing. He was the male version of a Manic Pixie Dream Girl.

He wore plaid shirts with suits. He had adorable glasses that matched his outfits. He had Robert Downey Jr's amazing thick eyelashes that make it look like he's wearing eyeliner. He was quick and funny and quirky and just... got people. He played the piano and sang (he sang Joni Mitchell's "River" when he thought no one was listening). He built Ally a snowman version of himself to keep her company while he was out of town. He was broken and sad at Christmas because he was also anastranged father to a little boy. Hell, he even had great kind relationships with both the mother of his child and his ex-wife. Also: he was Robert Downey Jr- do I really need to explain the charisma more? He was universally adored for his performance on the show, needless to say.

It was in that character, I now realize, that I saw the embodiment of the imaginary love of my life that I had imagined for myself (and doomed myself to).

Now, like I've said, I have yet to actually fall in love. I'm not looking for love and I'm not too keen on the topic. But November is difficult for me. And I've found myself watching that season of Ally McBeal on Hulu (and have now seen the same ad for NickMom so many times that I have lost all fondness for Tia Mowry).

I thought I just had a thing for Robert Downey Jr but I tried watching some of my favorite RDJ movies (other than the Marvel movies or Kiss Kiss Bang Bang) and it just wasn't the same.

But I do know that, no matter how much the character of Ally McBeal bugs the hell out of me, I do feel a sadness for how the season ended- more for how it ended in reality than how it ended in the show. As you might remember, Downey had not quite finished his downward spiral and was arrested two more times and found to be under the influence of drugs during his time on the show and was fired at the end of the season and the wedding between his character and Ally was scrapped (however, the season finale was still called "The Wedding" and I have to wonder if that was because the title had already been released or if it was David E. Kelly being weird/funny/whatever).

The next year, the ratings plummeted. Jon Bon Jovi as the new love interest just wasn't the same. The cast was itching to move on. The show was canceled. And, as a viewer, you just felt bad for everyone involved, as the show had clearly gotten reinvigorated the previous year, only for life's harsh realities to step in. Like when you date someone who seems amazing and draws you into their fantasy world only for everything to come crashing down when they go into a manic depressive spiral that you weren't expecting and can't fix.

And I'm still watching old episodes of this stupid show for this one man. Like those creepy old ladies that talk wistfully about their lost loves and stare at their old pictures.

I have no idea where I was going with this. Other than I need to remember to go into my Hulu account settings to hide all the Ally McBeal. And that I fucking hate that theme song.

Abbie Mills from Sleepy Hollow: Best New Female Character In Years

I'm writing about the same show twice in a row? A new show?

Weird.

Anyway, I just feel the need to talk a teeny bit more about Fox's Sleepy Hollow. 

And that's mostly to say that I already adore Abbie so so so much. 

She is the type of female character I have been yearning for all these years. She's tough, smart, emotional, and also cuts to the chase. She isn't out-right denying what's happening around her (anymore) but is going "Okay, I may not understand what's happening, but I still need to do something to stop it. So, get out of my way."

She has the potential to be the next Dana Scully. The next Sidney Bristow. The next Olivia Dunham.

Those last two aren't exactly a surprise, as Sleepy Hollow has Orci & Kurtzman's fingerprints all over it. And while I do have major issues with how those gentlemen write plots, they are damn good at creating great characters. And I have to give the show major props for not just creating a bland sidekick for the fish-out-of-water that is Ichabod Crane. Abbie is the heart and soul of this show, there is no doubt about that.

However, both of the episodes that have aired have had ridiculous and blah final acts to the episodic plot. They need to pull their shit together on those or get rid of them entirely. The second episode especially suffered from having a pretty damn weak and old-hat build-up for the contained plot. Which is a shame, as it started off strong with pulling an unexpected move very early in the episode and then never being able to top it, other than once again doing a quick spook at the end with the demon (which, if I'm reading the end credits correctly, they're calling "Blurry Man"? My eyes hurt from rolling) similar-but-lesser than how it was done in the first episode.

So Sleepy, So Hollow

At one point in the pilot episode of Sleepy Hollow (which you can watch on Hulu, here), the Headless Horseman gets a gun and starts shooting like crazy... and, because it is TV, he does not successfully hurt or kill anyone.

But, I realized, he was doing pretty good for a headless guy. At least he was aiming in the correct general area! And, of course, now I must bring up the beginning of David Sedaris's famous "6 to 8 Black Men" essay.

But back to Sleepy Hollow. It was... good-to-average? Great guest stars for a pilot- John Cho and Clancy Brown both bring a lot of credit to the show. And hopefully, the show will continue to play recordings of Clancy's amazing voice, as no one can read slightly-religious-end-of-days text like Clancy Brown can (except for maybe Kiff Vanden Heuvel from Bioshock Infinite). And it's kind of sad how nice it is to see a genre show with a black woman as the leading actress. It's really nice, actually.

And Orlando Jones doing dramatic acting! I've had a weird soft-spot for Orlando Jones for years, mostly from that two year period where he was almost famous- between The Replacements, Evolution, and the 7Up commercials (did he also do collect calling commercials? I think he did). So it's really nice to see him proving himself as being able to tone it down and be a stern authority figure.

I just wonder if the show will keep its momentum or slow to a deadly crawl. Fox really struggles with genre procedurals (that are not The X-Files) and I worry that it will fall into the same issues. Because it does really feel like a Fox show. Like Fringe and New Amsterdam had a baby. Maybe with a touch of Bones and John Doe.